Time is running out to get a gift for the insufferable librarian in your life. With help from Etsy, the 2019 edition of the Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide has your back.
For the librarian who hates germs
No Coughing Germaphobe Librarian Ostinato – Pinback Button 1.25″D round – One of a Kind
$2.00
Consider for a moment, the design of this button. What the heck, I ask you, is going on with this thing?
For the librarian who needs glasses
Vintage Women’s Half Eye Librarian Style Oval Clear Frame Reading Glasses 1960’s 1970’s!
$32.00
“How do you think we should entice people to buy these old glasses?”
“I’m thinking maybe on a creepy mannequin head with the name Tammie on the neck?”
“Should we put the glasses on the mannequin head correctly?”
“No, no – make them oddly askew.”
For the librarian who believes we are not alone in the universe
Download email gift card for Librarians with Aliens images
$1.40
All I can say is “???”
For the librarian who needs three books
Book Lover, Book Lovers, Books, Book, Book Lover Gift Set, Librarian Gift
$46.00
Wait, wait – you’re telling me I can have not one, but THREE mysteriously stained books for only $46.00???
For the lazy librarian
Coasting- The Lazy Librarian’s Guide To ‘Work’
$2.69
Actually, I bet this one is pretty funny.
For the librarian who needs some time alone
$15.16
For the librarian who might like books too much
$7.20
For the librarian who wants to shush people, but in a creepy way
Papercraft 3d, Paper trophy, Low poly papercraft, Library decor
$16.04
“He shushed me, and then disappeared into the wall.”
It’s the library equivalent of this Homer Simpson meme:
For the librarian who needs a mug
Public library Davenport Iowa cup
$10.00
“Siri, what’s the best way to sell a library mug on Etsy?”
“Tipped on its side on a paper plate.”
About Travis Jonker
I *really* want to use Slugface Binbrain as an insult now.
This is a riot! Fortunately, all of the librarians I know are far from insufferable . . . but I did enjoy your Etsy-inspired suggestions. Happy Holidays and may you NEVER receive any of these in your stocking!
I love this! If I had a nickel for every time I ask a student to use their elbow I could afford that “no coughing” pin!
My wish is that no librarian (including you and me) will be gifted with any of these “insufferable” gifts! Too funny!