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2018 Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide

Lump of Coal 2018

Time is running out to get a gift for the insufferable librarian in your life. With help from Etsy, the 2018 edition of the Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide has your back.

Click here for the 2017 guide

Click here for the 2016 guide

Click here for the 2015 guide

Click here for the 2014 guide

Click here for the 2013 guide

Click here for the 2012 guide

Click here for the 2011 guide

Click here for the 2010 guide

For the librarian who likes taxidermy AND Harry Potter

Taxidermy Harry Potter Duck



The most humiliating part is that the duck was Ravenclaw.

For the librarian who just stares at you creepily

Girl from the Ring-Unique felt bookmarks



Which is scarier: dog-earing pages or using this?

For the librarian who keeps it clean

BOOK SOAP Book Lover Gift for Kids Librarian



“Best Wishes”? More like “Best Washes”.

For the librarian who loves cigars

Librarian Stainless Steel Cigar Tub




A quick venn diagram for you, so you’ll know exactly who this gift is for:

(click to enlarge)

Screen Shot 2018-12-04 at 8.49.22 PM


For the librarian who appreciates a sharply-dressed doll

Double breasted, steampunk vest w/ fob chain



So steampunk.

For the librarian who’s very realistic about his/her job performance

Librarian Mug




“No librarian is more average than you.”

For the librarian with a keen sense of smell

Book Smellers Club 3″ Hand Embroidery Hoop




Actually, this one might not be that bad.

For the librarian who’s into their cat

Personalized cat bookmark



Dang, Regis!

For the librarian who REALLY likes it quiet

Canelo Alvarez Shush Crowed Fighter Fan T Shirt





I imagine a librarian wearing this and walking up to someone loudly talking on their cell phone, tapping them on the shoulder, and then pointing at their shirt.

For the librarian who thinks that Diary of a Wimpy Kid is terrible

Diary of a wimpy kid piñata



“I put copies of Charlotte’s Web inside.”

For the best librarian in the history of librarians

Best LIBRARIAN in History mug



The earnestness of the expression is what puts it over the top. It’s like “No, really, you’re great. I need you to understand that.”

About Travis Jonker

Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at scopenotes@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.