2017 Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide
Time is running out to get a gift for the insufferable librarian in your life. With help from Etsy, the 2017 edition of the Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide has your back.
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For the librarian who really hates bookmarks
Bookmarks Are for Quitters Shirt
$35.00
You never use one?
For the librarian who is the hero of their own story
Librarian Gift Book Dog Chew Toy
$10.00+
“What’s that in your mouth, beast? A book?! Give it back this instant!”
For the librarian who stays low key
Low Key Stunner Plaid Secretary Librarian Dress Joan From Mad Men
$75.00
Very low key. Absurdly low key. The lowest of low keys.
Side note: I love on Etsy how the product titles just devolve into a keyword free-for-all.
“Ooh – how about we throw a ‘Joan from Mad Men’ in there for good measure?”
For the librarian who needs a tie
$19.50
“How can we sell these ties with book spines glued on them?”
“I don’t know, maybe with a poorly lit photo where you can’t see the product?”
“Bingo.”
For the librarian who is into nightmares
The Librarian Spooky Haunted Porcelain Doll
$45.00
*Shudder*
For the aggressive librarian
$25.00+
For the librarian who enjoys work
$8.99
“Where’s Bob?”
“He went to the stacks half an hour ago to shelve that white and blue book with the cork on top.”
“Again?”
For the librarian who feels cats should be allowed in the profession
$8.00
“Look at this guy. Tell me he wouldn’t make a great librarian.”
For the librarian who doesn’t want a gift, but has another request
$22.00+
Note: The wearer must provide the heavy sigh.
For the bookworm librarian
Bookworm Bookmark
$2.00
“Worm” is used loosely.
For the librarian who’s also a carrot
Sexy Librarian Carrot Embroidered Patch
$52.95
“Where should I set the price for this small embroidered patch?”
“I don’t know, five bucks?”
“Another thought: $52.95.”
Filed under: Articles
About Travis Jonker
Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at scopenotes@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.
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Did the Lonely Doll become a librarian?
Ha! I think you’re right
Awww. Good for her. You go, creepy NYC doll! You get that MLIS and exit Mr. Bear’s house IMMEDIATELY.
“I will Dewey Decimate you!” Just made my week!
Updated and added links!
The carrot patch is my favorite! ?
Any way we can have links to the items?
Yes – just added them!
Thanks!
Any links? I need to decimate!!
Added!