2017 Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide
Time is running out to get a gift for the insufferable librarian in your life. With help from Etsy, the 2017 edition of the Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide has your back.
For the librarian who really hates bookmarks
You never use one?
For the librarian who is the hero of their own story
“What’s that in your mouth, beast? A book?! Give it back this instant!”
For the librarian who stays low key
Very low key. Absurdly low key. The lowest of low keys.
Side note: I love on Etsy how the product titles just devolve into a keyword free-for-all.
“Ooh – how about we throw a ‘Joan from Mad Men’ in there for good measure?”
For the librarian who needs a tie
“How can we sell these ties with book spines glued on them?”
“I don’t know, maybe with a poorly lit photo where you can’t see the product?”
For the librarian who is into nightmares
For the aggressive librarian
For the librarian who enjoys work
“He went to the stacks half an hour ago to shelve that white and blue book with the cork on top.”
For the librarian who feels cats should be allowed in the profession
“Look at this guy. Tell me he wouldn’t make a great librarian.”
For the librarian who doesn’t want a gift, but has another request
Note: The wearer must provide the heavy sigh.
For the bookworm librarian
“Worm” is used loosely.
For the librarian who’s also a carrot
“Where should I set the price for this small embroidered patch?”
“I don’t know, five bucks?”
“Another thought: $52.95.”
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About Travis Jonker
Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at email@example.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.
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