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December 5, 2016 by Travis Jonker

2016 Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide

December 5, 2016 by Travis Jonker   5 comments

lump-of-coal-final

Time is running out to get a gift for the insufferable librarian in your life. With help from Etsy, the 2016 edition of the Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide has your back.

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Click here for the 2015 guide

Click here for the 2014 guide

Click here for the 2013 guide

Click here for the 2012 guide

Click here for the 2011 guide

Click here for the 2010 guide

For the librarian who is not great at his/her job:

World’s Okayest Librarian

$15.95

Okayest

For the librarian who likes cat photos:

Library Kitty Photo

$24.00

Library Cat

“Dude, I bet you I can sell this iPhone pic I took of my cat in the basement on Etsy.”

“No way.”

For the librarian who likes to bake:

Book Closed Cookie Cutter

$4.50

Book Cookie Cutter

“Guess who’s making closed-book-shaped cookies!”

15 MINUTES LATER . . .

cookie-blob

For the librarian who likes figuring things out:

Scrabble Tile Pendant

$6.12

Pendant

“Yes, but you never can not go back to not being a non-librarian.”

For the librarian who has everything:

Bookworm Starfish Ornament

$26.00

Bookworm Starfish

. . . except an ornament made out of a starfish.

For the librarian that loves Harry Potter and Gilmore Girls:

Harry Potter Gilmore Girls Stars Hollow Deathly Hallows Luke blank note card

$4.50

HP GG

For the retro librarian:

Laser Disc Multimedia Library Earth Sciences UNDER 20

$19.99

Laser Disc

“Our library doesn’t need this. We got rid of our laserdisc player in 2000. But there’s something about that price that makes it so appealing.”

For the librarian who cares about cleanliness:

Library Soap

$7.00

Library Soap

“How do you like my library soap?’

“What is this? Burnt taco meat sprinkled on top?”

For the librarian who likes things that are falling apart:

Old Books

$24.00

Old Books

When “vintage” goes too far.

For the librarian who would like some company:

Whimsical Library Desktop Sitting Horse Paperweights

$12.00

Horse

Things got really weird when a horse tried to join The California Raisins.

For the librarian who wants to terrify patrons:

Dickens Book Woom Couture Faux Taxidermy

$300.00

Book Worm

“I got a bookworm for the library.”

“Cute!

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About Travis Jonker

Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at scopenotes@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Sondy says

    December 5, 2016 at 5:44 pm

    Wow. You’d have to be awfully naughty to deserve these.

  2. Phoebe says

    December 6, 2016 at 6:38 pm

    the library soap has coffee grounds in it and it acts as an exfoliant and it’s amazing

  3. Rob says

    December 6, 2016 at 6:40 pm

    You’ve gotta be one miserable person to make an entire blog post trashing people’s stuff. Someone needs to give you some class for Christmas.

  4. Laura says

    December 6, 2016 at 10:47 pm

    What a nasty post! You are a jerk!

  5. Em says

    December 6, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    Wow, some really interesting and neat stuff on this list! Seems like the author doesn’t really know much about baking or what coffee grounds in soap are suppose to look like though, lol..

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