Children’s Lit Commish: Bye Bye Fly Guy
The following is a work of fiction.
This morning the Commissioner of Children’s Literature announced that the popular Fly Guy series will come to an end due to a lack of exciting background patterns for the covers of new books.
“They’re out of ideas and they’re terrified”, said the Commissioner.
“They’ve used circles . . .
. . . stripes . . .
. . . diamonds . . .
. . . hearts . . .
. . . stripes again . . .
. . . soup ripples . . .
. . . dots . . .
. . . explosions . . .
. . . squiggles . . .
. . . pinwheels . . .
. . . more explosions . . .
. . . and there are simply no more exciting patterns in existence.”
The Commissioner continued, “Everyone involved with the decision is very sad about the whole ‘no more exciting patterns in the whole world’ thing, but they understand that since the series has exhausted all exciting patterns, it must now end.”
When asked if they had truly used all exciting patterns currently available, the Commissioner again brought up the soup ripples cover to indicate that the bottom of the barrel had indeed been scraped
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About Travis Jonker
Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at firstname.lastname@example.org, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.
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