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October 4, 2017 by Travis Jonker

Children’s Lit Commish: Bye Bye Fly Guy

October 4, 2017 by Travis Jonker   3 comments

The following is a work of fiction.

Big Podium

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This morning the Commissioner of Children’s Literature announced that the popular Fly Guy series will come to an end due to a lack of exciting background patterns for the covers of new books.

“They’re out of ideas and they’re terrified”, said the Commissioner.

“They’ve used circles . . .

9780545666336_7865e

. . . stripes . . .

9780545493291_0b605

. . . diamonds . . .

9780545662758_91e86

. . . hearts . . .

9780545110297

. . . stripes again . . .

9780545222761_eb77f

. . . soup ripples . . .

9780545312844

. . . dots . . .

9780545238755_e9b5a

. . . explosions . . .

9780545312868

. . . squiggles . . .

9780545007221

. . . pinwheels . . .

9780545667906_673ad

. . . more explosions . . .

9780545663168_29109

. . . and there are simply no more exciting patterns in existence.”

The Commissioner continued, “Everyone involved with the decision is very sad about the whole ‘no more exciting patterns in the whole world’ thing, but they understand that since the series has exhausted all exciting patterns, it must now end.”

When asked if they had truly used all exciting patterns currently available, the Commissioner again brought up the soup ripples cover to indicate that the bottom of the barrel had indeed been scraped

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About Travis Jonker

Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at scopenotes@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Lorie says

    October 4, 2017 at 9:56 am

    This is awesome and made me laugh out loud at my desk here in what I lovingly call Outreach Cubicle Land. Will be smiling all day. I will have to work this into my school age programming, maybe a Cover Off bracket competition with the winning cover being read out loud.

  2. Tiffany says

    October 4, 2017 at 11:34 am

    My first thought is paisley. Then maybe some nice gingham. I think there are a few more options at the bottom of that barrel!

  3. Sherrie says

    October 6, 2017 at 9:58 am

    At first my thought was omg. We cannot loose flyguy. My students will be so sad! How about textures or patterns from nature that he can perch on! Anything you can do it! Keep fly guy alive!!

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