Donald Trump Reviews Children’s Books
Today we have a guest post by the frontrunner in the race for the republican presidential nomination, Donald Trump¹. He offered to review a few Dr. Seuss classics…
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Green Eggs and Ham
Phony loser Ted Cruz’s favorite book. Not surprising – it was written by another Ted (Geisel) who also uses a phony name. Careful – they’re both hiding something.
The Sneetches and Other Stories
The Sneetches’ desperation is embarrassing. If they weren’t so stupid, they would have built a wall and leveraged their incredible beachfront real estate assets to make Sylvester McMonkey McBean pay for it. Ted Geisel was a lightweight, but I’ll admit The Zax was great.
Oh, the Places You’ll Go!
A very bad book. More establishment lip service from Ted Geisel. Boring, slow, lethargic – very hard to read!
How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
Online polls say this is one of the most popular Christmas books of all time, but the story is a complete fabrication. The gatekeepers of children’s literature won’t admit this. Very embarrassing for Ted Geisel and dangerous for readers. I’ve tried Roast Beast – disgusting.
The Lorax
A great book. The Once-ler is smart and tough. He started his thneed business from very little and built it into a great company. I’ve seen Truffula trees – an eyesore. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain
¹Do I have to say this is a joke?
Filed under: Articles
About Travis Jonker
Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at scopenotes@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.
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Why are you giving this man (and I use the term loosely) more exposure? I usually enjoy your posts, but I don’t see where this one adds anything to the conversation about kids and books.
I agree wholeheartedly!
should have kept this for 4.1.2016
I think the reviews are very Donald-esque. Thanks for the laugh!
That’s hilarious!
Have you read Donald’s book Mein Drumpf ?
Ha! Pretty sure I have an idea about what he thinks about Yertle the Turtle’s leadership style…
Excellent, Travis! 😀
Oh my, at first I thought it was real.Wow, Trump actually readsnadn thinks?! Then I realized its a parody. So fun, laughed coffee out of my nose. Thanks for a hilarous morning read.
Very funny–well don!