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March 3, 2016 by Travis Jonker

Donald Trump Reviews Children’s Books

March 3, 2016 by Travis Jonker   10 comments

Trump Reviews

Today we have a guest post by the frontrunner in the race for the republican presidential nomination, Donald Trump¹. He offered to review a few Dr. Seuss classics…

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Green Eggs

Green Eggs and Ham

Phony loser Ted Cruz’s favorite book. Not surprising – it was written by another Ted (Geisel) who also uses a phony name. Careful – they’re both hiding something.

The_Sneetches_and_Other_Stories

The Sneetches and Other Stories

The Sneetches’ desperation is embarrassing. If they weren’t so stupid, they would have built a wall and leveraged their incredible beachfront real estate assets to make Sylvester McMonkey McBean pay for it. Ted Geisel was a lightweight, but I’ll admit The Zax was great.

Oh the Places You'll Go!

Oh, the Places You’ll Go!

A very bad book. More establishment lip service from Ted Geisel. Boring, slow, lethargic – very hard to read!

Grinch

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

Online polls say this is one of the most popular Christmas books of all time, but the story is a complete fabrication. The gatekeepers of children’s literature won’t admit this. Very embarrassing for Ted Geisel and dangerous for readers. I’ve tried Roast Beast – disgusting.

Lorax

The Lorax

A great book. The Once-ler is smart and tough. He started his thneed business from very little and built it into a great company. I’ve seen Truffula trees – an eyesore. #MakeAmericaGreatAgain

¹Do I have to say this is a joke?

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About Travis Jonker

Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at scopenotes@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Tanya Anderson says

    March 3, 2016 at 11:05 am

    Why are you giving this man (and I use the term loosely) more exposure? I usually enjoy your posts, but I don’t see where this one adds anything to the conversation about kids and books.

    • Gerry says

      March 3, 2016 at 2:36 pm

      I agree wholeheartedly!

  2. Sharon H. says

    March 3, 2016 at 1:51 pm

    should have kept this for 4.1.2016

  3. Kathy Dempsey says

    March 3, 2016 at 4:15 pm

    I think the reviews are very Donald-esque. Thanks for the laugh!

    • C.A says

      March 4, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      That’s hilarious!

  4. Kevin Green says

    March 3, 2016 at 4:18 pm

    Have you read Donald’s book Mein Drumpf ?

  5. Elisa Gall says

    March 3, 2016 at 6:48 pm

    Ha! Pretty sure I have an idea about what he thinks about Yertle the Turtle’s leadership style…

  6. Sondy says

    March 3, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    Excellent, Travis! 😀

  7. tracy dockray says

    March 5, 2016 at 8:38 am

    Oh my, at first I thought it was real.Wow, Trump actually readsnadn thinks?! Then I realized its a parody. So fun, laughed coffee out of my nose. Thanks for a hilarous morning read.

  8. maria gianferrari says

    March 8, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    Very funny–well don!

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