Children’s Lit Commish: ‘All Books Will Actually Just Be Videos By 2012’
The following is a work of fiction.
The Children’s Literature Commissioner announced today that by the year 2012, all books released for children will be videos.
Before a packed audience of assembled press, the Commissioner came across as a defeated man. Appearing 45 minutes late, and foregoing his usual suit and tie for sweatpants, he had this to say:
“Hey, we’re living in the 21st century, are we not? In case you haven’t noticed, the “Information Superhighway” has won. As of 2012, all newly published children’s “books” will actually just be videos.”
In an attempt to calm the stunned reaction of those in attendance, the Commissioner added,
“Don’t worry, there will still be books. Yes, I am one of the few who still hold onto the opinion that books will never die. It’s just that those books will be videos, or “books on screen” as I now demand they be called.”
Citing the popularity of “that one video where the diet coke sprays everywhere”, the Commissioner encouraged the public to see this as a positive step.
“Look, it’s for the best. Would you rather have your children read an adventure story, or watch an adventure story starring an awesome actor? Oh yeah, and P.S.? The actor’s name rhymes with Shteven Shegal.”
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About Travis Jonker
Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at firstname.lastname@example.org, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.
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