In a stunning move, the International Children’s Literature Commissioner announced this morning that there will henceforth be no more television and movie adaptations of beloved kids books.
Citing oversaturation, the Commissioner explained that the ban would last one year, or until “People have a chance to write more stuff.” In front of a packed audience, a tired looking Commissioner rattled off a list of popular children’s titles that would soon be making the transition.
“Olivia, Scaredy Squirrel, Where the Wild Things Are. Sadly, that’s just the recent picture book tally.”
After taking a moment to regain his composure, the Commissioner continued.
“Okay, chapter books: City of Ember, Geronimo Stilton, Ranger’s Apprentice, Diary of a Wimpy Kid, The Tale of Despereaux, Guardians of Ga’Hool, I could continue.” Muted gasps were audible among the crowd.
When questioned about his reasons for the ban, the Commissioner responded by saying,
“We’ve got to be proactive. Some of these books should stay books. I’ve got five words for you: Love You Forever the movie.” The assembled crowd nodded in quiet understanding.
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It will be interesting to see how long it lasts, but it certainly is a breath of fresh air. Does this extend of “classic” titles (public domain) as well?
In an effort to clarify, let me say that this is a completely fictional scenario cooked up in response to the flood of recent rights-snatching. But oh, how nice it would be
So, how does one get in touch with this visionary commissioner? I’ve got a few things I’d like to run by him.
First on the agenda, I’d like a bill passed in Congress that states “There are already enough ‘kid learns it’s OK to be different’ stories. Write something else.”
Then we’ll get to the talking animals. :)
Jon, write4kids.com
Ha – that’s what children’s lit needs, right? Can we get a little bureaucracy in here please? Just kidding, of course. But it does seem the floodgates decided to open up this year, and I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m just paying more attention, but it seems like the trend lately has been for pretty much anything that appeals to kids to get snatched up. Am I overreacting or is this par for the course?
It’s the way the movie industry works these days — it’s much safer to take something with name recognition and a built-in fan base (be it a children’s book, comic book or video game) and make a film from it that it is to create an entirely new franchise.
I am one of those people who thinks Love You Forever shouldn’t exist, period. Although I think it might do quite well as a movie. It would, of course, be a horror flick from the Japanese school, which would suit the mother’s tendency to scurry across the floor like an icky, smothering scurrying thing.
Oh Miss Julie, make that movie! The big twist at the end – the son was learning her ways the whole time, AND HE’S CLIMBING UP YOUR TRELLIS RIGHT NOW!!! RUN!!!