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100 Scope Notes
Inside 100 Scope Notes

Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide 2010

Time is running out to get gifts for the insufferable librarian in your life. With help from CafePress and Etsy, the 2010 edition of the Librarian Lump of Coal Gift Guide has your back.

(Click the images below to buy)

For the librarian who wants to smell (?) like Twilight:

“I’d really like to smell like Twilight.”

“Oh, like how you imagine Bella smells or something?”

“No, more among the lines of how the Twilight series smells as a whole.”

For the librarian who would like to gross people out, in a very crafty sort of way:

Get this knitting pattern and share the fun of recoiling every time you open a book.

For the librarian who has a baby:


For the librarian who has something to announce:

“I am intelligent! Likely more so than you!”

For the librarian everyone avoids:

“You like my button? Who cares! Go away!”

For the librarian who likes Harry Potter and really, really creepy gifts:

“You like Harry Potter, right?”


“Great! Have this disturbingly lifelike sleeping baby based on an obscure Harry Potter character.”

(world’s longest pause)


For the librarian who likes things because they contain the word “librarian”:

The inexplicably named “Librarian Cuffs”. This one is worth checking out for the head-scratchingly in-depth description alone.

For the librarian who likes earrings featuring a guinea pig librarian:

FINALLY! A gift for members of this severely under-served segment of the librarian population.

For the librarian who wants to get an early start on their tote bag collection:

Why wait until you have your degree?

For the librarian who thinks everyone likes her, but is wrong:

“Well, all of my favorite people shush me.”

For the librarian who has everything:

…and I mean everything. Every last thing.

For the librarian who needs cheering up:

Hey, the description says this librarian doll “loves to dance” – how could it not brighten your day?

About Travis Jonker

Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.


  1. I kinda like the little bookworm bookmark. My young nieces would really like them. Is there a pattern?

  2. Hey, huge guinea pig fan here. Although…I don’t think I would put those in my ears. Nope. Still, I would definitely sign a petition to have more guinea pigs in libraries. I mean, why cats? Lots of people are allergic to cats (like me). And they just sit there! Guinea pigs are cute and cuddly and make cheerful chirpy sounds and tell stories! Or they do if their name happens to be Olga da Polga.

  3. Oh, I always want people to know I have more education than they do. HA! Must send all my gift-givers to this post.

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