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Children’s Lit Commish: ‘Hunger Games Details Wanted’

The following is a work of fiction.

In a shockingly unprofessional move, the International Children’s Literature Commissioner made it known today that he is desperate for insider casting and script details about the upcoming Hunger Games film, based on the best-selling science fiction novel by Suzanne Collins.

Appearing in front of a massive press corps, the commissioner quickly made his motivations clear.

“I’d like to open today by asking you this: does anyone here have top-secret “deets” on the Hunger Games movie? And don’t waste my time pulling out a ‘Woody Harrelson was cast as Haymitch’-level tidbit, folks – I have a friggin’ subscription to Entertainment Weekly.

After 10 minutes of berating members of the media for any miniscule details they had, and mocking those that were offered, the commissioner announced that the press conference would be cut short.

I’ve been refreshing HungerGabs.biz.co.uk/feelthehungeryall all weekend, people. You could say I know my stuff. And all you have for me is ‘Suzanne Collins is happy with Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss’? I’m done here. This is truly a sad day for Hunger Gamesians. That, by the way, is what we who love top secret Hunger Games movie information call ourselves.

A source close to the Commissioner says he has vowed to hold a grudge against everyone until the film is released on March 23, 2012.

Click the links below to read previous Children’s Lit Commish posts

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘All Picture Books to be 80s Film Adaptations’

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘Don’t Look at Me’

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘No More Fancy Covers’

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘All Books Will Actually Just Be Videos By 2012’

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘No Blogging Allowed at Blog Conference’

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘No More Non-Famous Authors’

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘No More Adaptations’

Children’s Lit Commish: ‘No More Non-Series Books’

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About Travis Jonker

Travis Jonker is an elementary school librarian in Michigan. He writes reviews (and the occasional article or two) for School Library Journal and is a member of the 2014 Caldecott committee. You can email Travis at scopenotes@gmail.com, or follow him on Twitter: @100scopenotes.

Comments

  1. Travis, I hope I can count on your vote for me as the Children’s Lit Commish for 2012. I intend to run on a platform that involves a lot of mudslinging.

  2. Ha – you have my vote. I think you would bring the change we can believe in. The current International Children’s Lit Commissioner has really gone off the deep end, as evidenced by some of his recent decisions.